- If you visit a former speakeasy called the Midway in South Bend, Indiana, Al Capone’s ghost will visit you in your sleep. It will be neither a good omen nor a bad omen.
- If all a-drunk your shoe you lose,
- Find some grass in which to snooze
- You don’t need a student ID to see the golden dome puncturing Notre Dame’s heavens.
- The Midwest is the last place a middle-aged white guy can get away with a Hawaiian shirt (unless he is in Hawaii).
- Midwestern summer grass doesn’t die. It gives up.
- Flag Day is a real holiday.
- Flag Day is celebrated (with parades) in towns and cities across America.
- In 2012, the town of Three Oaks, Michigan celebrated Flag Day on Father’s Day with a parade.
- Okay, really, can we all agree that, even though our evil Hallmarkian overlords made up Father’s Day, fathers deserve more honor than flags?
- A bay of hale carrying all 50 state flags would be an excellent target for the flaming arrow of any anarchist hell bent on ruining a Flag Day parade.
- Never turn down a private show for the Hell’s Angels. I don’t know what will happen and I don’t want you to find out.
It's a Beautiful Day I Need a Drink 